In light of Mental Health Awareness Month, I figured it would be important to talk about an aspect of diabetes that is often overlooked. Yes, diabetes is a very physical disease, but like anything, there is more beneath the surface.

Sometimes it can be confusing and difficult to even name certain feelings about the disease.

“Do I have enough sugar packed?” “Wait what if I don’t have an extra site in my bag like I thought I did and it falls off?” “I have to remember to change my transmitter so it doesn’t die in the middle of the next session.” “I hope my urgent low alert doesn’t beep during this exam.”

For me, diabetes is full of a lot of thoughts, and sometimes worry. I am always trying to make sure that everything will go right, and that I can make it through the day without a problem. Sometimes I get nervous around big crowds. I get scared that I will have an emergency and be trapped.

One thing I have been reluctant to share on here since last summer is that a friend from my diabetes camp passed away of a low blood sugar during the night. It hit me pretty hard. I was not personally close with her, but we spoke and she was always sweet and full of life. Anyone in the community instantly feels like your best friend because of the unique bond, and when someone in your situation goes through something like that, it makes you nervous. I have been running my blood sugars higher at night, a bit out of precaution, but also out of fear. Sometimes I have some carbs when my sugar is fine “just in case” it drops. It’s not bad, but I just think about it when I go to sleep.

I find myself constantly thinking about and analyzing situations, which are oftentimes very unlikely to happen. I try to prepare always for the worst case scenario, which is a blessing and a curse. I wanted to share some things that I do to try and ease my mind and not think too negatively about situations that may happen or some lousy blood sugars.

I am a person who thrives off of productivity and purpose. I am happiest when I am focusing my energy into something, and it is a good distraction from the thoughts and worries of a chronic illness.

I like to write- letters, poetry, blogs posts 😉 – it is the best way for me to express my feelings. It has always been one of my biggest hobbies, and I would even call it a passion.

I also am an avid list maker. Nothing- and I mean nothing! Is better than crossing something off of a list. If I am ever feeling down about my blood sugars or something of the sort I like to sit down in my planner or google calendar and plan out the coming days.

Making a playlist also helps me focus on something other than my blood sugar, especially if it is too high. I like how it draws my attention from my inner sensation of dehydration (and grumpiness) and to some pretty melodies.

If you did not know this already, Publix sells $4 bouquets of flowers and they are my favorite things ever. I like to make my space nice and peaceful every couple of weeks with some new flowers. It reminds me of the good things I’ve got going on.

Calling or texting a friend and making plans is very nice because it gives me something to look forward to if I am having a bad day that day. I start planning outfits and everything immediately.

To clarify, I do not think that diabetes has ever been of any hinderance to my life in any regard. It does, however, take up a lot of space in my mind- and in all of our minds- and some of it I could definitely do without. I have bad days with it, but they are far outnumbered by the good. Today and every day I celebrate the fact that I 1) woke up in the morning, 2) live in a world with mint chocolate chip ice cream, 3) have met all of you guys because of diabetes, and 4) have been able to still lead a normal life.

I love you all so dearly, and you know that my dm’s are always open if you are in need of any help, or just a friend to talk to. Sending hugs!