Walking to class today, I was feeling discouraged about the way a lot of things have been happening for me lately. Yes, life is good, but it could also be better. I made my way up a large staircase leading to my building. It is my third class of the day, and I am tired. My blood sugar is high, and it has been for days because I am sick. I come up to the top and face the large brick column in front of me. In chalk, a message reads, “You got it”. I look past it and on a half-wall containing shrubbery reads another message: “You matter”. I had to smile. It was like those messages were made for me to see today. Yes, life is good, but it could also be better.

But anyone can say that.

My mother has always told me that there is always someone better off and worse off than you. You can always be discontent with where you are, but if you flip it the other way around, you can learn to appreciate where you are now. As they say, comparison is the thief of joy. It sucks, but life is not always going to go your way. And that is something that I am constantly trying to accept. Sure, I can say that I am doing all that I can to make life what I want it to be, but deep down I know that is a lie. If we are being honest, I SUCKED at time management the past two weeks. Sucked! Plain and simple. Got way behind on my homework, overwhelmed myself, lost sleep tying to catch up, and put myself in this vicious cycle of trying to dig myself out of a hole. But I did it to myself, and I can’t blame anyone else or act like I was doing my best because that is not how things are going to get better.

Sure, my blood sugar has been rough lately. But I come home from class every day and I take a nap. I can justify that to myself all I want, saying that I had to work harder than others today because I was running high and still had to do everything they were doing. But that’s life. That’s not a pass for me to tap out of the rest of my responsibilities for the day but that is what I have been doing. And I realize now my mistake.

Life is meant to be lived. Something I know that I need to work on, as well as probably everyone else, is being present where I am. Being content with what I am doing and knowing that I am trying my best. Instead, I log into Instagram and I see some people that seem to be handling their Type One way better than me. Their A1C is lower, they actually got a workout in this morning, they made a healthier eating choice. I start to feel bad about my nap and the bag of the Doritos I got from the vending machine while I was wrapped in a fuzzy blanket- lol.  Then I will scroll, and I will see an old friend on vacation, and I get mad that I am taking classes and having to actually do work. But there was a time when I was praying with all my might that I would be accepted into a good school. There was a time when I made a bargain with myself, saying that “If I get into this school, I will finally relax and I won’t even need anything else because I am going to be so happy”. I do that a lot. Always jumping to the next big thing I think I want, or need, to be happy, instead of taking life as it comes and being content where I am. You, and I, we are exactly where we need to be, and we do not have to have it all together and figured out right now to feel good about what is going on.

And if I slow down and look around I see that there actually is a lot of good at work in my life, and I know I need to stop worrying and making excuses and stupid bargains with myself. I am lucky that I woke up this morning at my dream school. With a good blood sugar. And the best technology I can have. And a wonderful community of support. I am lucky that I am alive today. But things like this are often overlooked in the hustle and bustle of life. And I realize now that I am never too busy to take a few seconds every day to see the happy things.

If there are things in my life that I am not happy with, I have come to terms with the fact that chances are, it’s the result of MY decisions. The grass is greener where you WATER it. So yeah, she has a better A1C, and she worked out, and ate her avocado toast, but good for her. I am proud of her. If that is what I want for myself, then I need to get off of my booty and go get it. And so do you. There is so much life waiting to be lived, so put your phone down, be present where you are, and go LIVE. Get what you want, be happy. Just make sure you do it for yourself.