I am a creature of habit. It is simply how I have always been. I get comfortable where I am and I learn to like it there. Sometimes I feel like life is moving too fast and I cannot keep up. This month has been one of those times. I moved into the University of Georgia two weeks ago. I was sad to leave my family and friends but obviously excited to see where this new chapter of my life would take me.

I am scared of change. Again, it is simply how I have always been.

It is mostly because of my Type One that new things scared me. I was going to be surrounded by new people. Will they think my sites are weird or ugly? Will they learn to know me solely as the “girl with diabetes”? That is something I have always struggled with. I want to be known as myself. As Riley. Not because I look at diabetes negatively or am ashamed of it, but rather because I feel like there is so much more of me for people to know. This is the start of the next four years of my life, and I wanted to do it right.

Move-in day was exciting and scary. I made sure that I had all my insulin, sites, pump cases, strips, cgm adhesives, and other miscellaneous items all packed up. I always have to look at my supplies over and over again before I go somewhere.

I was not scared to live on my own at all. In fact, my whole life, my parents have made sure I could independently care for myself so that I could do whatever I wanted and know that I will be okay. Of course they helped me along the way, but to me, them teaching me to take care of myself was the biggest help they could have given me. I was not scared of not being able to succeed in class because of Type One. I have never let that get in the way. I always make sure I am prepared with an extra site and some form of glucose on my person at all times. I do not like to put myself in a bad situation.

The first week was, quite frankly, one of the most stressful weeks of my entire life. I am taking six credit-hours of class over the course of the month. My main disciplinary class is Precalculus, which at an accelerated pace such as this is rather difficult. I was doing several hours of homework each night, and as a result, my sleep and eating schedule was not optimal. In addition, the stress was a lot. My blood sugar suffered. I was doing my best to keep it under control but the adrenaline, lack of sleep, and little food was not helping my case. It only added to my stress. One night I was trying to finish my math, and after three hours I was almost done. I looked down at my phone and saw the notification for low blood sugar. It is really hard to do math when your blood sugar is low. I was so frustrated that I went to the bathroom to cry.

But I got back up and finished it because that is sometimes the only choice you can make. I refuse to let diabetes get in the way of my success and happiness. But it does feel good to let it out sometimes. It gets tiring to pretend to be okay every second of the day, especially if your blood sugar is on a rollercoaster.

I do have a funny story. My mom bought me a mini fridge for my insulin (pictured on my Instagram) so that in the case people were using our fridge my insulin would be safe and out of the way. Sometime last week someone opened our fridge and discovered that everything inside was frozen- it was on the coldest setting. The first thing that came to my mind was the insulin. I cannot imagine what I would have done if that had been in the fridge. So, for any of y’all in college or with kids in college, I would highly recommend getting a separate little fridge for insulin. It is actually super cute too.

The first night I was here my blood sugar plummeted. My mom is on my Dexcom share and she has her alerts set to when I have urgent lows. I was exhausted and did not wake to my low alarm. She called me four times and I did not answer. Finally, on the fifth try, I answered, and supposedly hung up. I apparently answered her call back and treated my low and got back in bed but remember absolutely none of that happening. Very scary, especially for her. It comforts me, however knowing someone is on the other end somewhere watching out for me in case I make a mistake or something happens to go wrong. My sweet boyfriend asked me last weekend to be put on my Dexcom share. I said no at first, because I did not want to put any of that responsibility on his shoulders, even though he asked. I struggled with the decision for a day and then decided to let him on it. He will be at school with me come next month, and it will be very helpful and smart to have someone who will be so close- close enough to help- keeping an eye on things. He has no idea how much it means to me that he willingly wanted to help me like that. Nobody has ever done that for me. We went downtown one night and he offered to hold my Transcend gels in his pocket so I wouldn’t have to carry a purse. Small gestures such as these have helped make me comfortable in my new home here in Athens. I don’t think he could possibly know how much holding a gel in his pocket could mean to me- and any Type One. I am so grateful.

After a week of hard work, I had my first college test today in my Precalculus. I was terrified, and I wanted nothing more but to succeed. I got my grade back and it was a 97.5%. I think the main thing that I can take out of that is that the hard work is worth it and that working through the rollercoaster blood sugars and stress is worth it. Everything works out. Not every setback is the end of the world.

All that being said, I am pretty proud of myself. I have managed to charge my pump, carry an extra site everywhere, have access to my Dexcom, and have adequate sugar on me at all times so far. Not too shabby.

I think I like it here.