Since I was diagnosed at the age of 5, all I heard was how difficult the teen years would be in dealing with Type One Diabetes. I heard about how kids would get rebellious and decide to stop taking care of themselves. And how when kids are diagnosed now they are immediately referred to a therapist because it is so common to develop depression. I promised myself one day that I would never let myself get to that point. I always thought that that would never be me and I never understood how it could get so bad, but now I am starting to see. In all honesty, I have really been struggling lately. I find myself not checking my blood sugar as much as I should be throughout the day and guessing on carbs and insulin doses more often than not. I cry myself to sleep sometimes because I feel like I am doing this on my own. Taking care of yourself is a decision you have to wake up and make every single day and I have been finding it increasingly difficult to make that decision. I can tell that I am more irritable and don’t feel as good because of the looser control I have on my blood sugars lately and I feel bad for it. I am strong all the time so that my friends and family are not burdened with the weight of what I feel sometimes. It is hard to be strong all of the time. I am tired. So tired of the constant work that it takes to remain healthy. But I know I don’t have a choice. And I will not for the rest of my life. But when I start to feel like not caring anymore, I think about the promise I made to myself when I was 8 and I know that I can’t disappoint the little girl who was so determined to own this and to kick ass in taking care of herself. Then I look at my tattoo, a permanent reminder that “I am greater than my highs and lows”. I know that I am capable of taking care of my Type One and remaining happy at the same time because I have done it before. I know everyone has their moments where they feel like they just cannot do it anymore. I am sharing this with you guys because I know you understand and I don’t have anyone in my life right now who truly understands how I feel. I just wanted to thank y’all for always being here for the past 4 years and remind you and remind myself that we are more than a number and that we are amazing with how much we accomplish each and every day!!!